Writing Mood

YO...i just wrote a pretty dope verse to 9th Wonder's "Queen" Instrumental. I stayed on topic throughout the whole 16...something i've been working on...im starting to see some results. Not only is this the first verse i've written in about a week and a half, it's one that im really proud of...not my best but it's a good start for what im working on. I WILL post this later in the week...i want an opinion. Im writing to this Kendrick Lamar instrumental(the one that automatically plays when you visit) he got some shit, can't even front on this nigga plus his content is on point. Only if he produced he'd be on CH level...thinking about having "Free-write Fridays" im tired of being shy when it comes to my writtens...im kinda dope and versatile with subjects.

Kinda random but OH WELL

Better Example

I have been thinking alot lately...that's nothing new for me but i want to be a better sibling. You know, a better older brother, im the oldest of three and i've haven't been the example or role model i could be. I don't feel im the type of guy my sister should be interested in, there's alot of bad guys out there with one thing on their mind, now im not one of them but what really makes me different? Like really? And i haven't been that brother my little brother needs. Niggas get caught up in alot of shit, the kids today will have done everything before their 18...now TJ has mind of his own but i could atleast show him there's more to life then what he sees. His friends get into trouble, and i have found things in his possession(not snooping) it's a matter of time before my mother gets a hold of them. One of the things im truly grateful for is never getting caught up in the crowd, all my niggas are on the right path...and i know it'll stay that way. Im not saying im a Bad example or influence but i could be doing alot more to be a positive figure in their lives.

Definitely gonna do this...

Need To Heal

It hurts too much...i thought it was just a phase but this shit is starting to affect my thoughts and actions. It's extremely tough for me to go about my day as if shit's all good , i have hidden how i feel for 18 years but in certain circumstances such as this one it begins to eat you up. This is exactly why i don't ____ ____ _______, then my nigga made me feel like a fucking loser today for "guarding hoes" i don't know...he said some shit like that lol. He was right tho...it wasn't a good look, that's a real friend, i need to be told when im making a fool of myself especially when she doesn't give a fuck about me. Realized God has put me face to face with Karma and it's kicking my ass...it's what i deserve for clowning ol' boy, shit has back fired now and im FEELING it.

Shouts to my nig & the friendly lady...i'll consider the advice

I Peep The Growth

Yo im sooo proud of you...you know who you are. You have matured and learned how to tune the negative things out...last year you wasted your time and energy arguing with those who had made comments about you. Now your like a new person, you changed for the better...you were the one with bad reputation at both of your high schools and you've accepted what happened in the past and your moving on to a pretty bright future. I don't even know what to say\write next...im just OH DEE happy for you. Don't ever look back again...and if you should use it as a reminder for how far you've come.

Class of 2011

Congratulations...this chapter of your lives is now closed, wishing you the best of luck in your future endeavors. Shouts to Andy, Lawrence, Terrell, Kallu & Lashonda...im proud of you guys, wish i could've been there.

Gynophobia?

I have a slight fear of women, nothing serious, i love women but at the same time i get intimidated by a lot of them. For instance a beautiful women could easily cause a guy to get nervous but i would avoid any contact with a beautiful women that's coming my way. I would go in another direction pretending to be going elsewhere but in all actuality im waiting for her to pass, then you know how niggas break their neck to get another look, i don't even do that because i fear we'll make eye contact...and that's the worse i won't even elaborate lol. Yea, it's pretty sad but can you blame me? Nowadays girls have more game than dudes, im not gonna get played so this really isn't all that bad, then again it damages the relationship with girls i get involved with.Every female wants to know how a guy feels about them...not like i don't wanna express my feelings it's just tough for me. In the past i've have showed girls i care but i don't think i came correct or atleast showed enough, that's another thing i have to fix about myself. Now that i said it...this subject has been the very reason relationships have not worked out for me, it's often not the girl...just my insecurities. Everything i do has a good reason behind it...i guess i've built a wall only a few women have got over, then i'd just form another one...(There's going to be a part 2...touching on specific experiences)

P.S. if you don't intimidate me, that doesn't mean i don't find you attractive, it's simply because you have a way of making me comfortable.

Tomorrow...

Im writing some heart-felt shit to my hero...im actually thinking about pre-writing this then putting the final draft on here, this is serious to me and i would like to share. #MyLetterToSonic

Sheree

I saw you the other day...i was working so i just couldn't leave the customers and see how your doing. I pray your doing well, and that you have peace of mind(especially for your daughters sake). I also hope you have stop fucking with her father, i know it's none of my business but what kind of man constantly abuses the mother of his child? Only a punk, so fuck him. Anyway, it put a smile on my face when i saw you, we haven't talked since January, we will tho when the time is right. Continue to be strong and bring your daughter upright. Until next time.

Time is Flying

...Damn, June is already here i remember EVERYTHING i did on new years eve as if it was last night. It's not all bad tho...i've been looking forward to blogging again...got alot of written material i wanna post, even if im uncomfortable putting it on here, i will. Im just now realizing i've wasted all of this year so far, i've done nothing i had planned except for a few minor things. That has to change in order for me to accomplish the very things i want in life...NOTHING will be handed to me. Gotta get my priorities right but all i can guarantee is that i'll do my best...and if so everything else will fall into place.

P.S. I didn't say anything negative